oh, and happy 9/11

i need to get back in touch with myself…wait no. i need to figure out how to un fuck my already fucked over life. and its very hard. ha, filler. theres nothing much going up in my head, and it disgusts me. i’m just stupid. so fucking stupid and illogical….lazy…no…slothful. depression so crippling is has left me unable to use telephones, go outside, move. this is what i get for mixing anxiety meds with marijuana. lucy, you knew it was a bad idea.

i’m so down on myself today that i experience anger and pain from incidents that have long past gone

this happens to me a few times a year

so i must say this, to get it off my chest:

fuck you, for your idiocy and childish exuses.

fuck you john for always being john. disgusting and sad and still in need of his facade

fuck you katya, for knowing better and still not giving a shit, marked as a bad person.

and when you all decided that i was the monster to be slaughtered, did it occur that i am no monster. i am a scarred little girl with no logic, and always crying.